Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want

I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.

The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.

Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.