Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.

You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.