Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.

Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.

I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.