Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-create art, build businesses, donate to charity, invent things, or do anything noteworthy-for any reason other than to impress women, and thus get them to have sex with us. If women didn't exist, we'd still just be naked grunting apes living in caves. In a very real way, pussy is the key to human civilization. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact; if you understand it, you understand men.

Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.

You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.

You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.

Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.

Critics stopped being relevant when they stopped writing to inform and contextualize, and when they started writing to signal who they are, to display their identity by their stance on what they are writing about. Criticism should never be about the critic, but thats what it has become, and that’s why no one cares about them anymore.

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.