Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-create art, build businesses, donate to charity, invent things, or do anything noteworthy-for any reason other than to impress women, and thus get them to have sex with us. If women didn't exist, we'd still just be naked grunting apes living in caves. In a very real way, pussy is the key to human civilization. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact; if you understand it, you understand men.

The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)

Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.

I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor

I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.