I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.

Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.

No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.