The haters always scream the loudest.

If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.

I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.