I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)

Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.

You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.