It is hard to deal with someone who smiles and pretends to like you to your face and sticks that eight inch blade in your back when you turn around.

There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.

A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.

The Christmas spirit that goes out with the dried-up Christmas tree is just as worthless.