Ain't fit for man nor beast

I never met a kid I liked.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.