Ain't fit for man nor beast

I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.