Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas

You can't cheat an honest man.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.