The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

I never eat before breakfast.

It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.