The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.

When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.