A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!