Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia