California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!

I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.