In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.

I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.