Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.