Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.