Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

I never met a kid I liked.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.