Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.