Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.

I can do anything I want to do!

You can't cheat an honest man.

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.