Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.