Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.