Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.