I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
I drink therefore I am.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.