The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

I drink therefore I am.

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.