The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?