Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.