Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
Never work with animals or children.
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.