Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.