You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.