I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.