I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.

Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.