A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.