I like children - fried.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.