I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).

I like children - fried.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.