I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.