This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
I never met a kid I liked.
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.