I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.