I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine

You can't cheat an honest man.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.

I never met a kid I liked.