If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.