Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.