I must have a drink of breakfast.
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.