I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.