It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

I drink therefore I am.

Happiness means quiet nerves.