I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.

Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.

We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I've told them, 'Mommy's boo-boo is much better now.'

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.

When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.

How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?