To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.