That's proof right there that men and women are on different levels because men can watch two women together and that's a turn-on. It doesn't work the same way for us, does it, ladies? No, uh-uh - it doesn't work the same. You ask any woman in here her sexual fantasy, and I will bet you a million dollars that it's NOT to go home and catch your man bent over with some big, burly guy standing behind him.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.

I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.

But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.