Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.

All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.