I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds.

I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.