I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.
I get my sense of humor from my parents. That's why they don't have one anymore.
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.
People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me!
I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds.
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.