My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.

I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.