I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me!

I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?