People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me!
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.
In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.