A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut.
Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.
Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.
There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.