The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.
There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.
Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.
They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately.