Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.