My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.

A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.

It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.

I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.

The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous.' Isn't that just like Darwin? It was one of his main ideas, you know, that the males of almost all animals have stronger passions than the females. Since then we've learned a thing or two. At any rate, the female snake is right there when spring arrives in the woods.