My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.

It's easy to see the faults in people, I know; and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous.' Isn't that just like Darwin? It was one of his main ideas, you know, that the males of almost all animals have stronger passions than the females. Since then we've learned a thing or two. At any rate, the female snake is right there when spring arrives in the woods.

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.