Will Cuppy Quotes

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.

A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.

A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.

Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

The sloth lives his life upside down. He is perfectly comfortable that way. If the blood rushes to his head, nothing happens because there is nothing to work on.

Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.

We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.

Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.

I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.

Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

It's easy to see the faults in people, I know; and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.

The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.

As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous.' Isn't that just like Darwin? It was one of his main ideas, you know, that the males of almost all animals have stronger passions than the females. Since then we've learned a thing or two. At any rate, the female snake is right there when spring arrives in the woods.

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.