I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.