When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.