When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.