Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

It is my experience that the best way to deal with American politics is 50 milligrams of Zoloft 3 times a day.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.